Today is Saturday

For some reason today I felt the sudden urge to revamp my blog. Let me tell you it straight: it is all symbolic - new start, nice clean and white, change of title. I also cleaned the blinds in my apartment today. It probably took over an hour, but now there isn't any dust flopping around when we open and close the window. I swept too. And did the laundry. Oh isn't Saturday such a special day.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

This summer I had an amazing opportunity to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I did a six week mini mission in the Houston Texas South Mission. Let me tell you, it was one of the best things I have ever done. Now herez the truth: Heavenly Father seriously loves His children so much. He loves me; He loves you; He loves that girl walking down the street outside my window. I know this, and I have felt this as I have felt His love for me encircle me and guide me. I have also felt it as I have prayed for and strived to serve those around me. It is always such an overwhelming feeling, but on the mission I had the amazing opportunity to really see God's love put into action every single day. The Gospel of Jesus Christ brings such an amazing happiness, a fullness really. And the Gospel is for everyone, every single person on this earth needs the Gospel. To see that blessing come into people's lives, to see them feel and know that Heavenly Father really does know who they are and loves them more than they can imagine, to have the experience of being an instrument in God's hand to help them come to Him, was absolutely amazing. I was nothing more than a body moving around, filling the shoes and wearing the tag. Because as I just tried to give my all, trust in my Father in Heaven, and listen to the promptings of the spirit, I really saw Him change the lives of everyone around me. The truth is, I could go on and on about how seriously amazing missions, but instead I am just going to list a few ways that I am going to change because of the experience that I had.

1. I will repent every single day. I know I am not perfect, and I want to continually be changing my life to become closer to the Savior.

2. I will be a better member missionary. The Lord is really hastening His work right now. There is seriously just too much missionary work to be done for just the full time missionaries alone. And even when it seems like there isn't much work to do, there is still more work to do than we can imagine. I will continue to thrust in my sickle and work in His field. This time as a member missionary.

3. I will trust in Him and His plan forever; and I will have the faith to see miracles in my life every single day. All things are possible with God. And that is not even an exaggeration. He knows the end from the beginning, and I trust in his plan and his way.

4. I will give Him all my time. Just like on a mission, all my time, talents, efforts, and everything belong to the Lord, I will continue to give Him everything because all my time, talents, and efforts are still His. I will give my entire life to Him and serve Him with all my strength.

The truth is, the Gospel is true. It really is true. If you are reading this and are not a member, I encourage you to go to get a Book of Mormon, read it and pray about it. Find the missionaries and learn more about Christ's Gospel. You will get an answer, and it really will change your life.

BYU Running

This uniform has carried me through many a cross country and track race where everything hurt and I wanted to step off the course or catch that girl in front of me, then the next one, or I was passed over and over and over again; or I glided past the finish line insisting I could do it faster; or finished struggling to even make it off the track. So cliche, but blood, sweat, tears - all went into this uniform. There was the time I ran the entire race with my teammate, Darbs. We attacked each rolling hill and pushed each other forward. And there was when I was spiked on lap one and finished out my mile with blood dripping down my shin (happened many times actually). There was breaking the 4 X 800 record that one time freshman year. There was going out way too fast and running backward on the last 100 meters. There was turning the corner on cross country nationals, wondering if I was in last place, and hearing my teammate come up behind me and give me a push, telling me to run with her. I finished that race and turned around to see if I had been dead last. I wasn't, but that fact that I even wondered. And this is why I am so happy to hold my uniform and remember how wonderful, how horrible, how defining that time was for me in my life.

Together, we're gonna change the world: one student at a time

Give Me Twenty Days

World Running

I am trying to run all the way around the world. Yes, the 24901.55 miles around the world. I started in Utah, and in 2009 I was in Boston (Hiiii Zander!); by the 18th of July, 2011, I was in Rome (always wanted to go there); I made it to Afghanistan on the 16th of August 2012, and to Nepal on the 2nd of December of that same year. So then, I stopped competing for BYU and training with the team. I spent two months just sitting in Nepal, wriggeling my toes around in the grass and lookin' up at Mt. Everest. Then I started running again; I mean, I still had 15571.55 miles to go #notevenhalfway #theworldissobig #run4lyfe

But, here is the catch, since I have started running again, I haven't logged any of my miles. I mean it was oh-way-to-easy to just have my coach keep track, but now, well, it is hard. Out on a run, oh what is that? Well why don't I just hop-skip off the route and see...feel like doing hills over and over again? want to race that random, unassuming person on the other side of the street? want to run around the block ten times? down the street and back? as far as I can see? without a watch? without a plan? Oh, let me tell ya, oh so tempting! and why not? Welp, I am trying to run around the world, that's why.

Check out this up front and personal page of my journal. Sorry it is backwards, I took the picture with the front camera on a tablet, just for kicks, giggles, and ring pops. I drew this map and have been mapping my progress until it halted in 2013. I need a new record keeper to log my miles. Any takers? Anyone?

Also, here is my beautiful team at the beach after a race. They will be my team forever.

My brother left on a mission, so I wrote some poetry

The Curbside as I remember it

He was dressed in his black suit;
His silly smile jumping around his face -
Nervous? He said he wasn't,
Just talking about our cat and trying to lick my hand whenever it was near him -
My brother. Sitting in the backseat of the car as we pulled up to the MTC.
"Remember that lick for the next two years."
Shuttled up to the curbside, he got out
Pulled his bags from the back of the car
Hugged Mom; hugged Dad -
Then it was my turn:
He stood up on the curb -
Like a banner -
All six feet and six inches of him.
I was a step down, on the road
As I reached to wrap my arms around him,
He was so tall up on that curb that I pulled him down to the street with me.
We laughed, and I let go.
He turned around and walked,
Walking away from us, but toward -
A step toward Boston, MA
Where he would shape his heart a bit,
And write messy letters to tell me about it.

In the LDS church, young boys and girls leave on missions for two years. My brother is eighteen and he will be serving in Boston preaching the Gospel and helping people find the love, happiness, and peace only Christ can offer.

So then I wrote more poetry, just sloppy, right out of my mind, unedited poetry. This next one is about a friend.

crossing the waves
(chop, chop waves)
In my mind you are setting the table
for dinner and company
in your basement apartment
in September,
but really, where are you?
Get all this water out -
(chop, chop waves)
There's an ocean between us

And then just for sweet Sophie, a silly little verse because I miss her.

Sister's Sonnet replays in my thoughts.
What are you doing three hundred miles away?
She Lives for Hugs,
Lives on.

And then a little modified Haiku because I realized recently, I actually love this form.

I miss you because
I know you are really gone
But I love you like
I hope you'll come back to me.

First Day of School #newroomies

 

      

What I currently understand about differences; I am sure I have a lot to learn.

I found this picture online claiming that it was the border between the Baltic and North seas, but with a little more research, I think it was taken in Alaska. Some of the water is fresh water that has been created from glacier melt. Because of the differing densities, the bodies of water are mixing much slower, so much that is appears as if they are not mixing at all. I don't know how valid this argument is, but this picture really got me thinking.

America is all about borders - that law in this state and this law in that state, moving west and pushing forward the frontier, this race/color verses that race/color. Why can't these boarders mix?

This is apparently the border between Belgium and The Netherlands, right along side a cafe. Can you imagine eating your lunch in The Netherlands and then stepping over to Belgium to take a stroll? What if it were like this between California and Mexico? Maybe you are thinking: that is not the same thing - Americans and Mexicans are just different. How different? (2 Cor 4:18) Seriously, let's think about what really matters. (Weightier Matters, Dallin H Oaks)

I am an English major emphasizing in teaching and therefore, American literature. The more I read, the more I feel sick when people talk nonchalantly about slavery or color. The more I read, the more frustrated I get with causal descriptions of what race is. Do you know what race is? Seriously, think about it. In my multicultural education class we learned that Race is a social construction that categorizes people based on physical appearance. Ethnicity explains where each individual comes from. So what race am I?

When I was little, I always thought I was White. Actually, I thought everyone whose skin wasn't really dark was White. Then my Asian and Mexican and Middle Eastern friends told me they weren't White. I came to find out that at one time in American history, people who came from Ireland were not considered white, or people who came from Bohemia or Italy - anyone who came in as an outsider, an "other." The definition of white has changed over time, and it really isn't just about the lightness of ones skin. What a racist term. I don't want to be white.

But then, am I Caucasian? Someone told me Caucasians came from the Caucus Mountains. I didn't come from there. A quick skim over the Wikipedia page confirmed my opinion that Caucasian is about as racist a term as White. So what race am I?

Who cares what race I am; that is not what it is all about anyway.

This is a picture of the class divide somewhere in Brazil. How could you seriously sit in one of those balcony swimming pools, look down on all that poverty and seriously enjoy yourself? Things like this, interactions between people who are different from one another, don't have to be like oil and water.

Now I am not saying we are all the same. We are not. We are all very different from one another. But I have come to the conclusion that engaging with "the other" is the only way to truly express one's self. A community of people function like a body (1 Cor 12:12-26). If you begin to draw a stick figure and only draw the circle, the drawing does not reach its full meaning until the body is attached. Each of us with our differences makes up a part of a beautiful whole (for more, look into relationality).

So regardless of what race society says you are or what race your neighbor is, I want to always remember that society made up these classifications, and God made up people who look different, talk different, act different - all in different beautiful ways - but all with the same amount of worth as children of God with divine potential. There doesn't have to be borders between us unless we create them.

For more: No More Strangers  by Alexander B. Morrison and Concern for the One  by Joseph B. Wirthlin

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Everyone shares love differently, but no matter what, love heals.

I saw this last night with a group of friends. It was beautifully done, intensely sad, but expressed so much love in such a broken way - very postmodern (accepting that life is broken fragments and enjoying what is there). Although parts of it did break my heart, I would recommend it with a little bit of reservation.

Retro Perspecto

My mom keeps this Rubbermaid of old fabric that she might want to use for sewing. I was looking through it this Christmas break and came across this gem. All I am saying is that my mom used to wear these! I only wish you could try them on yourselves.

But, ya know, this got me thinking...who can pull these off? Could I pull these off? Maybe without the running tights underneath :), but really. I am not going to lie, I was tempted to wear them to school. Maybe I could even bring a typewriter or some quills with ink or parchment or ya whatever else is out there. Maybe tomorrow, ya know?

I used to think everyone was just trying to understand the world  -  however each person can, in his own unique way. Now, I am not so sure.


Maybe some people are just enjoying the world.


Well, I am trying to understand the world. I guess, it is kind of cool when the rug is pulled out from under you. Sweep under the rug. . . or make designs in the dust. either way, is fine.

Halloween Caterpillar?

What would you do if you saw one of these inching along?

Saw this up Provo canyon today. Didn't even know it existed. 

Still not sure what it is.

Life, is like Never Before.

Each new moment is a surprise. Each new second is unlike the one before. What will the next moment bring?

Maybe I just want to post something, but then I got to thinking about this book I am reading. It is called The Help by Kathryn Stockett. All in one week, people just started telling me about it. It is a pretty good book, an easy read. It has good voice and tells a story. can't say it has made me think too deeply though. Still, it has made me think about change. What causes change?? Thoughts, ideas, writing, people. "Change begins with a whisper," it says. Just a wisp of something soft, but powerful.